Life is meh....

Hello all....

The Doctor is in, and it is not good. This is one of my catagory 4 blogs today, its been that kind of week this week. One that has altogether ruined my Enjoyment of many things. Thanks to my own ineptitude and poor habits in taking care of myself, i may need another kidney transplant within the next 1-3 years, with three years being a VERY liberal estimate of time left. Add tothat I'm finally back on all my meds for the first time in probably 18 months or so. I've been sublimely stupid in the care and keeping of me and now I'm reaping that oh so bitter fruit. To be honest foks I'm scared. I'm most afraid of not being eligible for the transplant list, and also having to go back for psychiatric evaluation before serious consideration. I'm a good enough actor to pass for normal from day to day with the average folk, but those in the mental health field can see through me.....I don't like that.

I'm legitimately crazy....I have thoughts that scare myself, like I'm not really here. I ramble...case in point...see above.

My life's gotten better recently, before the appointment. I consider the appointment to be some kind of grand cosmic rebalancing, anything good in my or anyone else's life has to be balanced with an equal amount of suffering somewhere else, but usually of the same person. I have a happy home, a lovely wife, a beautiful little girl, food on the table, and no real worries outside of my health. I dunno, I just had to get some of this out to deal better...I'll get back to the land of the squared circle soon.

~Aside: If WWE's ring could be called the squared circle, WTF could TNA's be considered? The Hexagonal Circle? i dunno.....just a thought...nothing more...let it go to the four winds